I’m Mike Tidwell. My son works at Discovery Place and he went through the program here.
What was it like with Matt before he came to Discovery Place?
Oh, it was a train wreck. We went through a very long spell with Matt having problems with substances and I think it really started in middle school and I blame myself, I guess, for some of it. He says it’s not my fault, but I feel like I had some part in it, but it was a long, hard struggle for him and for us and I’m so very thankful we found this place.
What were you scared of most?
That he was going to die. That he was in really bad shape and bad health. I really worried about him and that’s the last thing a parent wants to do is bury a child.
What were your thoughts before coming to Discovery Place?
Well, it was a little scary not knowing what to expect. Matt had been to a couple of other facilities or one other facility a couple of times and this was totally different. I found through some research Matt had gotten to the point where he was wanting some help again and he was talking about going back to the place he had been before.
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I wasn’t very much in favor of that and he found another place that he had thought about going and I didn’t like the research I’d found on that and so I had run across Discovery Place and I thought this sounds different. This sounds like this might work and so we gave it a try and it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened.
What are some of the changes you first noticed in Matt after he got to Discovery Place?
Well, I don’t know. At first I didn’t see a whole lot of change in him. It took a little couple of weeks I guess maybe. He’s been clean now six years so in trying to remember back I remember coming and visiting him and at first I mean he’s going through a lot and I’m sure there’s some depression and there’s a lot going on with him and so he wasn’t instantly back to himself but as time went on he got better and better and more like the Matthew that I used to know.
What were you surprised to see most after Matt had been at Discovery Place for a few days?
I guess the only thing I can say is the fact that he didn’t want to leave. You know that I thought that says a lot that he wasn’t anxious to get out of here that he wanted to stay and he felt like he needed to stay and so I totally encouraged that.
What were you impressed with most about Matt’s time at Discovery Place?
One of the I guess things that impressed me so was that the nutrition education he got here and we would come and we would eat and the food was always fabulous. I’d love to come here to eat you know but you know he learned to eat so healthy and he lost the weight and he started exercising and working out and you know building muscles and so that and he seemed so truly happy that I had not seen in so very long.
What makes Discovery Place different than other treatment centers you had researched?
What makes what is it here that makes things so different than where he had been before? The methodology seems to work so well because none of you guys are trained physicians or therapists. It seems like you just all do it because you’ve been there but you know there’s there’s some I guess I don’t want to say is I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors what y’all say to one another what you do that that makes it work and when I come and visit I mean I’ve never seen a happier group of guys.
How has your home life changed since Matt’s time at Discovery Place?
Well we’re all much much happier and and relieved we don’t stay up worrying as much at night we don’t you know we’re not beating our heads against the wall anymore about what do we do how do we help him you know where do we go from here.
How do you see Matt today after his time spent at Discovery Place?
I can’t tell you how proud of who he’s turned out to be. And I’ve always told him that one fact he left Cumberland one time and I picked him up and we were driving out the drive to leave and I told him I said Matt you need to you would be so good working at Discovery Place because you’re a people person you like people you’re you know you’re likable.
“Well Matt is probably one of the most kind and generous people that I can think of sometimes to a fault.”
Of course before when he was going through his addiction uh it was all about him so uh now he seems to be so empathetic to other people and sympathetic and giving and understanding and I mean I can’t in in all the years of going through this I can’t think of a single time regardless of what I said or did that Matt raised his voice said an ugly word uh showed any really anger in any of it and he’s he’s just a fabulous guy.
What’s something you would like to tell other families with sons struggling with addiction?
Oh that’s tough. To be there for him to never give up on him. I learned the hard way there’s not really anything as a father I could do other than those two things until he was ready. But no matter what I did, what I said, what I paid until he was ready, it was it was pointless.
To give you a little idea I grew up in a an alcoholic home my dad and he worked on the railroad he was never at home because he worked and when he was home he was drunk and when he was a drunk he could drink whiskey and be metering the snake drink beer and he’s the life of the party and I’m the same way it was one of those things you know mother cooked supper and he’d fall asleep drunk and he’s facing the food she said oh no don’t wake him you know let him just sleep at all um so you know I grew up that and I didn’t have a very good idea on how to be a father because I didn’t have one you know and so that’s part of what I blame myself for too and Matt you know I don’t know what caused this but I don’t know I mean that’s hard to say because each individual is is is different and uh you you’re going to have a child or you know a child at different ages so sometimes you have to react differently to those things you know like are there minors still at home or are they’re an adult or whatever but I think like I said earlier all you can do is be there for them not give up on them.
“I’m not saying enable them.”
But I’m not saying totally abandon them either um I truly think it’s a sickness it’s an illness um and you get in over your head and it’s beyond your control and I think as a father you you can’t give up on them you’ve got to be there for them
Thank you so much for your time, Mike.
I’m just so truly thankful and indebted to the Discovery Place I’m very thankful for this place and a part of me will always be have a very heartfelt feeling for this place.
